The ban on long term care visitation has caused incalculable suffering for residents and their families. Here are some of the stories of that suffering told by residents and their families. To contribute your story and (optional) photograph, please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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I am an RN, working for Mayo Clinic in Arizona for years. My mother is in a nursing home in Turlock, California. She was much happier before the Ban due to my brother’s every day visit.
For nearly 120 days my mother, age 93, like all other residents, has been in solitary confinement at her assisted living facility. I use that term to describe the following conditions: 1) Residents are not allowed out of their rooms except to take walks close by to the facility.
We can protect and care for our family members simply by being with them. We are willing to go through the similar safety protocols because we want to protect our loved ones. The residents have been locked inside their room and deprived of the precious time, the care and the love from the family members too long.
I am a Legal Guardian for my mother, a disabled 88 year old nursing home resident. My mother is aphasic, meaning she has lost the ability to formulate words due to a massive stroke she experienced during minor surgery in 1973 and is primarily limited to verbalizing the term “Oh Boy, Oh Boy” in varying articulations to express herself.
My mom the most loving woman I have ever known. She has dementia, is about to turn 99 in August, and lives in a Skilled Nursing Facility for memory care. As a young girl she took care of her mom at home until the day her mom died of cancer.
My mother died, not because of the Covid but because I couldn’t be there and help her. The isolation was a direct cause of her loss and I feel I could be a valuable advocate in this cause.
My mother was a resident of a sub-acute nursing facility in San Diego since December 2015. She has a ventilator and requires the care of a sub-acute facility. I used to visit daily for 3 – 4 hours, taking her out in the sunshine and keeping watch over her medical condition and any changes, and making the nursing department and doctors aware of these changes.
On August 2, 2020 my Mother was in the nursing home battling dementia when I got word she was put into the COVID side of the home. They said she showed signs of COVID, but not results from a Covid test. She passed on August 5, 2020. On her death report it showed no signs of any COVID, period. You put this wonderful lady which is my Mother in isolation with a nursing curtain two feet from her left. Another two feet to her right is a white solid wall with no windows. In other words, a closed cell for her last three days of her life without seeing her loving son and family. I am her loving son, and I tell you I am still I’m deep pain and sorrow over this lack of professionalism. I was so blessed to have my Mother for as long as I did, but it would have been real nice to say goodbye and be by my Mother’s side during her passing.
I have been a long term care resident at the [nursing home] for 10 years. Ever since this Ban has been implemented we have all been isolated completely. We aren’t even allowed to order a pizza through contactless delivery but the staff places orders for themselves all the time.
I had a 94 year old roommate who had three daughters and they would come every single day to be with him.They came in shifts that way someone was here with him from 8:00 in the morning until 8:00 at night 7 days a week.
My mom currently resides in a memory care facility in Santa Cruz, CA. My mom has five daughters. 3 of us live nearby and were able to visit daily and were very much a part of her care.
From the time of my beautiful son’s injury I had been with him daily, and to speak for him in his sub-acute state. To show nursing correct way to suction w/o traumatizing him; Inform of the correct way to test shower water temperature so as not to semi-scald him.
My mother is 91 years old and has been in a nursing home for the past 3-1/2 years. The home has been very good to my mom and we are appreciative for their care.
For the past 3 months not being able to be with my dad has been unbearable for us. I can only imagine how much worse it must be for him, My dad is on a ventilator and is unable to speak for himself.
My mother, DeDe, was living at an assisted living in Temecula until three weeks ago, when she was rushed to the hospital due to inability to breathe. She does NOT have COVID-19. She has been in intensive care due to several blood clots in her lungs, and is unlikely to survive. My mom is only 69 years old, and during the quarantine she got very depressed and just laid in bed all day long, which likely contributed to the blood clots she developed.
My sister is in a nursing home San Diego. She is a Downs Syndrome person. Before the ban on visitations, my sister would enjoy feeding her baby dolls, coloring, and moving to her favorite music with my help.
It has been 113 days since I have seen my 28 year old son. He is in a Supported Living Center in Denton TX. He has been there for 3 years. During that time, I would spend time with him several times a week, each and EVERY week.
My mother, always a very active and social person, now lives in a skilled nursing facility in San Francisco. She is ninety-four years old, and has serious physical, and cognitive disabilities. Among other things, my mother has much difficulty with her hearing and vision.
Hello, unfortunately my mother passed away on May 22 almost 3 full months in isolation. At least I got to be with her in the ER twice the week before she passed and then the day she passed. I’m not sure she knew I was there but I’m hoping so.
I have been witness to the devastating effects of the Corona Virus on our older population despite the fact we have had only 3 positive cases of Covid-19 in our county. I understand the devastating effects this virus has on our elderly. People need to know the devastating effects this isolation is having on those same people. What I had witnessed was heartbreaking. I saw such sadness among the residents. I saw deterioration of physical health as well as mental health. Residents are exhibiting behaviors that were never present before. Residents have lost weight and appear lethargic.
My father is in a nursing home and miserable. He was placed there by his wife without his knowledge or consent. He is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and vascular dementia. He is aware of his surroundings and has full recognition of his friends and family. COVID-19 has added to his despair since he cannot leave the premises or receive visitors. In as much as his physical health is being preserved his mental and emotional state are severely compromised. I am his oldest daughter and I was going to visit him nearly every weekend. I would take him to lunch or go to art galleries in town. All of these activities have ceased, and my biggest fear is that he will pass without seeing his family and being physically close to us one last time.
Mom’s 103rd “zoom” birthday party at nursing home with 3 generations. At my 103 year old Mom’s nursing home, despite No Covid cases and good staffing/PPE, absolutely no personal visits of any kind are allowed. She has cognitively declined thinks we are coming to see her.
Our sister is in a subacute unit nursing home, and she is developmentally disabled. We have been unable to see her since visitation was banned. Now, our mother has fallen into a deep sadness of not being able to see her daughter. Prior to the pandemic, we would visit regularly to bring her clean clothes, her favorite snacks, and gifts.
I have not been able to visit my wife in her nursing home since visitation was banned on March 13th. Before the ban, I used to spend 20 hours a week visiting my wife, making sure her needs were met.
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